Helping homeowners “think inside their existing box” and envision multiple ways to address their remodeling project, Sarah Susanka adds “Not So Big Remodeling” to her popular series of books. She draws examples from more than 40 houses across the country, examining everything from attic to basement but focuses on the kitchen, the center of family life in most households today.

Most couples think that success with a remodel or a brand new house depends on the talents of those they hire. But their satisfaction with the results depends much more on how well they can make decisions than on the work of their architect, no matter how talented he or she is, said Tybe Diamond, a therapist in Washington, D.C., who has helped couples work though thorny issues for more than 25 years.

Architects consider quality building materials essential, but in these belt-tightening times, many clients consider them to be expendable luxuries. If the better windows and higher grade of insulation mean a smaller house, they’re thrown overboard, along with costly energy saving features and materials with recycled content.

We all know what to do when presented with a prenup – consult an attorney before signing anything. What we may not realize before signing any contract, including a pre-nup for marriage or the purchase of a new house, is that all contracts are heavily biased in the writer’s favor.

When I saw a brand-new apartment on Roosevelt Island it was love at first sight. Great views, great floor plans, perfect size and affordable. I was too bowled over to notice any shortcomings like the kitchen that was great for one person to use, a nightmare for two. Or the huge windows that would require costly shades to block out the blinding afternoon sun.

We think practicality drives our housing choices but author Jonah Lehrer says our emotions weigh in first. Within three minutes of entering a model home, your emotional networks in your brain have votes up or down. The deal starts or ends with the firing of a few billion neurons. If the vote is up, our brains immediately start generating logical reasons for why “this house is the one.”

Architects and land planners say that a sense of community can be created if the conventional subdivision layout is radically altered with higher densities. The houses are close together and to the street, garages are accessed from a rear alley, and pocket parks are tucked into every neighborhood. These interconnected outdoor spaces are smaller and cozier and greatly increase the potential for casual socializing.

You might think that earning an architecture degree, working as a designer in architects’ offices and reporting for years on home building would be adequate preparation for my own major remodeling project. You would be wrong.

New home buyers’ insistence on evaluating quality in terms of the best deal and the lowest cost per square foot has consequences that they don’t’ appreciate. The builder who offers the biggest house for the lowest cost has most likely compromised quality at every step of the construction process.

When a family plans a new house, should mom and dad decide everything or can the kids have some say? Therapists say there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on the family, their style of parenting and the age of the kids. The most important consideration is that parents recognize their comfort level at the outset and tell the kids then, not halfway through the project.

When children are asked to participate in the planning of a new house, the design is often enriched. Although the parents worry that their children’s fantasies will be extravagant and expensive, architects said that the kids’ ideas are usually simple, easy to execute and almost never things that the parents or the architect would have suggested.

Forensic architect Richard Rivin cites two often overlooked factors in successful home building projects. First, homeowners handled stress well. Second, homeowners worked with an architect who structured the decision making so that the homeowners felt confident with their choices at each step of the design process.